Gnosce Te Ipse

to those who commented below, and others whom I am sure read who did not comment, but stood alongside me, and even stand alongside me, during this time. I'll take this time to update... I saw my therapist, Sharon, for the last time Tuesday morning. She had been off Monday for the holiday and it was her last week in practice after many years of seeing clients. I know she had a long stack of people, some she had not seen in years, waiting to get in to say goodbye. My heart goes out to her, actually, during this week. And the parting was wonderful. It really was. I can look back on six years and say that she acted in my best interest at every turn; that she never lied to me or acted in an insidious manner. In short, she did her job as a therapist and a human being. May God, in whatever form she understands God, walk with her the rest of her life. I was lucky to know her. The sad thing is that she was only a therapist, of course, not a family member, can I even say a parent. ...

Hello to all who read here. This is a personal post, a support post; I am reaching out, even in the blogsphere here where I rarely journal anymore. There are a few things I need to say and I have a prayer request or two. Considering I rarely ask, I figure this is okay :) One. I have talked about my therapist retiring at the end of the month. That is a fact I have to accept. My winter and spring have been good, good enough that I would have cut down on my visit frequency, I think, if she were not retiring. My time with S has been very, very helpful, though it was me who brought in Foa's awesome book on OCD two years into my therapy! My therapist had heard of those tools, but I take credit for bringing them exposure work into that relationship. S was very good with seeing the interpersonal, emotional fuel that feeds the OCD fire, my struggles with intimacy and fear or anger and criticism; it has been a good six years. Yeah, six freaking years. Today I got up the courage to ca...

Big changes are on the way for me; well, one at least. My therapist of the last six years is retiring. Yes, that does rather suck, though I am glad she is moving on with a new phase of her life, I have just weeks to figure out whether I want to contact my insurance company and look for someone else to continue work. Mostly, I've been thinking that I wanted a break. I beat serious depression years ago, and with S (short for my current therapist) have made enormous strides with my anxiety/panic/OCD. The latter, surely, a tenacious and clingy monster to fight. A true mental illness, in my view (and I guess just about everyone else's). This last year or so has been especially good for me, even the last 9 months. The long, at times imperceptible climb out has finally appeared to be just that: a climb, OUT, not a walk through more thick woods. I have greater insight, meaning (clinically) I can sense an obsession more often than not...of late at least. For quite some time I ...

If this blog had another name, that would be it: Peniel. Is that not, "one who wrestles with God." Something close. That would be me. It's strange, since I began writing about Brian's book (and I am not done, as you will see) I have cut the personal content here, as if I suddenly found myself in the book review pages of a newspaper. Posh. I must remind myself this is not publication, this is a web log. The hardest thing about this activity is the lack of community sense. I need to put a counter up; I surely get very few comments, nearly none. Writing into the void. Rather existential. I had my vasectomy Friday, finally. Stayed home from work Monday (though I thought I would not have to beforehand). I am sore, and the stitches are bugging the heck out of me, but it was not that bad. I will say, when they ask, "would you like a valium IV?" say yes. I did. Almost worth the surgery. My friend Allen who drove me there and then home (very kind of him)...

I find I do like the interactive nature of the discussion; it helps me collect my thoughts and of course feels less isolating: so I am posting on EMC in this blog but also here: http://readingforchange.wordpress.com/ It's a good beginning discussion. Check it out if you can :) t

another sitting in my office quickie post. I am taking my time with Brian for good reasons (and now will be watching and maybe participating in another online discussion of the book; see the comment below). When I was young(er) I was the quickest parrot in the birdcage. I had a fast response, usually wrong and borrowed from someone else, for every theological question. Brian's book has introduced me to the emergent church; that diverse movement, and his representation of it, deserves time. In the meantime and as I think about my response, I am rereading the gospels, especially Luke and John; rereading Wright, especially his section on Judgement in JVG . For there he finalizes the leap he began in NTPG: a highly realized eschatology. I know he does not like that term, prefers "ignaural" eschatology, and discusses that in both books; fair enough. But it must be admitted, so many verses Christians have taken to refer to hell fire and a final day of judgement after deat...

The three readings for today's service, if they were all we had, would almost be enough. (Isaiah 58: 1-12; II Corinthians 5:20-6:10; Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21) And lest anyone think Brian is fabricating his emphasis on caring for the poor in EMC , or that I am making it up in agreeing with him, let me include today's reading from Isaiah. It is all I want to put up today. Let it stand on its own: Shout out, do not hold back! Lift up your voice like a trumpet! Announce to my people their rebellion, to the house of Jacob their sins. Yet day after day they seek me and delight to know my ways, as if they were a nation that practiced righteousness and did not forsake the ordinance of their God; they ask of me righteous judgments, they delight to draw near to God. "Why do we fast, but you do not see? Why humble ourselves, but you do not notice?" Look, you serve your own interest on your fast day, and oppress all your workers. Look, you fast only to quarrel and to fight and to s...