Postbellum
(Scene: a freshman college composition class, afternoon; students are seated in small desks with wooden writing areas on one side; the blinds are down but open )
Prof: (writing word on board) What is Euthanasia?
(confused looks, some students look down, after 30 seconds one answers)
Student 1: Isn't that murder?
Prof: Well, it could be looked at that way. But what exactly does the word mean?
(pause)
Student 1: Killing someone who is already going to die.
Prof: Good, very good. Is this legal in California?
Class: No, no.
Prof: Where is this legal?
(pause)
Student 2: Oregon?
Prof: Yeah, it is legal in Oregon, and I imagine the question will come up in California. There are all kinds of constraints in Oregon's law I believe, a person has to already be dying of a disease, they are supposed to have less than six months to live, there must be two written requests 15 days apart, the person has to be evaluated for depression, like that. Then I think a doctor gives a prescription for some kind of pill, maybe barbituates or opiates, maybe both, I don't know. Now don't go killing youself, but I hear if you have to die this is an easy way to go. You go to sleep...you don't wake up.
(pause)
Is this the same thing then as murder?
Most of Class: yeah, sure, yeah.
Prof: But the person is already going to die of a disease.
(pause)
Why would someone want to take his own life?
Student 3: Maybe they're in pain, bad pain, and want to die with dignity, when they choose it, instead of wasting away.
Prof: Those are the common arguments. Has anyone known anyone who was terminally ill?
Student 3: Yes.
Prof: Who, can you tell us about it?
Student 3: My father died in horrible pain, he wasn't even in his right mind when he died.
Prof: And he died of...?
Student 3: Lung cancer.
Prof: Wow.
(pause)
Do you think he might have elected to take his own life this way when he was dying if he could have?
Student 3: I don't know. It wasn't available, we never talked about it. But he suffered terribly, his whole body changed, he lost so much weight...
Prof: That is heavy. So far I've been lucky and haven't been close to anyone who died like that, but it must be awful to watch; I suppose an end like that is in store for some of us, maybe me, though I hope not. Anyone else want to share an experience?
Student 4: (Student 4 is a blonde, very well built man of about 20 with almost no facial hair who sits very straight as he talks)
Well, in my experience I've seen something like that.
Prof: What happened?
Student 4: Well, I, uh, (reddens) you know when I was with my guys, I saw something like that.
Prof: That's right...you were in the military.
Student 4: Sometimes you have to just take someone out when they're suffering.
Prof: (pause)
You are talking about troops injured in combat.
Student 4: Yes.
Prof: You mean if one of your guys gets hurts so bad you know he'll die you euthanize him on the battlefield?
Student 4: (the class is completely silent, Student 4 leans forward as he speaks, looks at the professor and then the floor alternately)
Well, not like that. Once we cut into these guys (he spread his hands out, palms flat and fingers splayed, as if he just parted curtains) and wow, man, some of them were hurt so bad, just blown apart, we knew they wouldn't make it. They were in so much pain, some screaming, it just felt right, it felt good to do it. I felt good when I did it.
Prof: You are talking about enemy combatants?
Student 4: Yes.
Prof: You overdosed them?
Student 4: No. No, you do what you can just to end it. Whatever that takes.
Prof: I guess you could look at that two ways: one, these guys were suffering so bad you did the humane thing, and two, you were just trying to kill them a minute ago and this was finishing that job. Were these guys aware, or so out of it they didn't know what was happening?
Student 4: Well, some weren't aware, some were.
Prof: Do you think they wanted to die, were they asking you to do it?
Student 4: (pause)
Well, we didn't speak their language.
Prof: (writing word on board) What is Euthanasia?
(confused looks, some students look down, after 30 seconds one answers)
Student 1: Isn't that murder?
Prof: Well, it could be looked at that way. But what exactly does the word mean?
(pause)
Student 1: Killing someone who is already going to die.
Prof: Good, very good. Is this legal in California?
Class: No, no.
Prof: Where is this legal?
(pause)
Student 2: Oregon?
Prof: Yeah, it is legal in Oregon, and I imagine the question will come up in California. There are all kinds of constraints in Oregon's law I believe, a person has to already be dying of a disease, they are supposed to have less than six months to live, there must be two written requests 15 days apart, the person has to be evaluated for depression, like that. Then I think a doctor gives a prescription for some kind of pill, maybe barbituates or opiates, maybe both, I don't know. Now don't go killing youself, but I hear if you have to die this is an easy way to go. You go to sleep...you don't wake up.
(pause)
Is this the same thing then as murder?
Most of Class: yeah, sure, yeah.
Prof: But the person is already going to die of a disease.
(pause)
Why would someone want to take his own life?
Student 3: Maybe they're in pain, bad pain, and want to die with dignity, when they choose it, instead of wasting away.
Prof: Those are the common arguments. Has anyone known anyone who was terminally ill?
Student 3: Yes.
Prof: Who, can you tell us about it?
Student 3: My father died in horrible pain, he wasn't even in his right mind when he died.
Prof: And he died of...?
Student 3: Lung cancer.
Prof: Wow.
(pause)
Do you think he might have elected to take his own life this way when he was dying if he could have?
Student 3: I don't know. It wasn't available, we never talked about it. But he suffered terribly, his whole body changed, he lost so much weight...
Prof: That is heavy. So far I've been lucky and haven't been close to anyone who died like that, but it must be awful to watch; I suppose an end like that is in store for some of us, maybe me, though I hope not. Anyone else want to share an experience?
Student 4: (Student 4 is a blonde, very well built man of about 20 with almost no facial hair who sits very straight as he talks)
Well, in my experience I've seen something like that.
Prof: What happened?
Student 4: Well, I, uh, (reddens) you know when I was with my guys, I saw something like that.
Prof: That's right...you were in the military.
Student 4: Sometimes you have to just take someone out when they're suffering.
Prof: (pause)
You are talking about troops injured in combat.
Student 4: Yes.
Prof: You mean if one of your guys gets hurts so bad you know he'll die you euthanize him on the battlefield?
Student 4: (the class is completely silent, Student 4 leans forward as he speaks, looks at the professor and then the floor alternately)
Well, not like that. Once we cut into these guys (he spread his hands out, palms flat and fingers splayed, as if he just parted curtains) and wow, man, some of them were hurt so bad, just blown apart, we knew they wouldn't make it. They were in so much pain, some screaming, it just felt right, it felt good to do it. I felt good when I did it.
Prof: You are talking about enemy combatants?
Student 4: Yes.
Prof: You overdosed them?
Student 4: No. No, you do what you can just to end it. Whatever that takes.
Prof: I guess you could look at that two ways: one, these guys were suffering so bad you did the humane thing, and two, you were just trying to kill them a minute ago and this was finishing that job. Were these guys aware, or so out of it they didn't know what was happening?
Student 4: Well, some weren't aware, some were.
Prof: Do you think they wanted to die, were they asking you to do it?
Student 4: (pause)
Well, we didn't speak their language.
Comments
According to my student, these guys were going to die anyway...but his description of that scene was a little shaky; I'm not sure what exactly happened. I do believe a lot of people die in combat, not all have to. I watched a film last night called Zellary which illustrated that point.
But yeah, eleven years in the classroom, plus two in grad school, this is my first student combat share. I hope it's my last though I doubt it. If I had gone into combat at 20 I'd be insane. How he handles those memories I don't know.
He seems to have a very strong sense of moral purpose, that what we/he did in Iraq was absolutely the right thing. The first time he told me he was a Ranger, I said, 'oh, what is that, a Boy Scout thing?' And he said, 'no, I was in the Army.' I said, 'oh, that kind of Ranger.' But he felt that training gave him direction.
He seems like a nice guy, and oddly, is physically very beautiful. Hermes. Paris. Tristan. With death in his past.
Jeez, just talking about this is making me sick.
Thanks for posting, friend.
t