Thoughts on Guts
What kind of a title is that?
I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who responded to my 'from the gut' post, and I can say I'm doing better. My marriage is doing better, or at least I'm feeling better about it. I know these things take years to work out, but I have to say the special kind of therapy I'm doing for my ocd has been very helpful (I, of course, have to practice) and I have felt closer to Steph lately, though issues remain. How priceless serenity is; how priceless it is to love and feel loved, even for a few hours.
The vicious terror circle of the ocd is relenting, right now anyway. And I thank God for exposure response therapy (the only thing I've tried which works) for my therapist, and for all of you.
Someday I'll blog about my climb out of major depression, the other great demon of my mental life (well, maybe I'd come up with more than two if I really thought about it, but those are the biggies); and what a climb that was, crying and raging and doing awkward, hesitant self-care on the way up, like a seven-year emergency scuba ascent: "whatever you do, don't hold your breath and keep swimming towards the surface." I really did beat that illness in great part, after struggling with suicidal urges and self-hurt urges for years in the early and mid-90's, with little help from meds, and with some awful therapeutic experiences. But I'll tell that story another day. I'm going to scrub the floor glue off my hands.
Public thanks to Mike for his open post this week. It's not the same as sitting down face to face and sharing, but I've found the blog really does help, and Scott, or whoever, has put together a great bunch of people. Mike's share is what it's all about for me. Philosophy, apologetics, theory, whatever, it's all subordinate to the gut-clenched realities of living, my own need for support and the love of God.
Peace to all,
t
I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who responded to my 'from the gut' post, and I can say I'm doing better. My marriage is doing better, or at least I'm feeling better about it. I know these things take years to work out, but I have to say the special kind of therapy I'm doing for my ocd has been very helpful (I, of course, have to practice) and I have felt closer to Steph lately, though issues remain. How priceless serenity is; how priceless it is to love and feel loved, even for a few hours.
The vicious terror circle of the ocd is relenting, right now anyway. And I thank God for exposure response therapy (the only thing I've tried which works) for my therapist, and for all of you.
Someday I'll blog about my climb out of major depression, the other great demon of my mental life (well, maybe I'd come up with more than two if I really thought about it, but those are the biggies); and what a climb that was, crying and raging and doing awkward, hesitant self-care on the way up, like a seven-year emergency scuba ascent: "whatever you do, don't hold your breath and keep swimming towards the surface." I really did beat that illness in great part, after struggling with suicidal urges and self-hurt urges for years in the early and mid-90's, with little help from meds, and with some awful therapeutic experiences. But I'll tell that story another day. I'm going to scrub the floor glue off my hands.
Public thanks to Mike for his open post this week. It's not the same as sitting down face to face and sharing, but I've found the blog really does help, and Scott, or whoever, has put together a great bunch of people. Mike's share is what it's all about for me. Philosophy, apologetics, theory, whatever, it's all subordinate to the gut-clenched realities of living, my own need for support and the love of God.
Peace to all,
t
Comments
Thanks for the positive words. I've found that the bloggage is something I look forward to, both reading and writing.
Any dates yet on when you'll be in lbc?
Mike
as you know, somehow your computer (or the server, who knows) posted your comment several extra times! I took one down, but instead of deleting it all it left this 'this post has been deleted by administrator, or some such schlock. It looked worse! I see you've taken down the others, good for you.
And you are more than welcome for the positive comments; I'm sending you my phone numbers via email and want you to know you can call me anytime to talk.
As far at lbc...I'll let you know when I know. The end of July, early August...somewhere in there. Maybe sooner.
t