Gnosce Te Ipse

1) Spring is really truly here. It came very suddenly. The snow stopped; it was cold and rainy for a couple weeks, now bam, it's sixty six degrees outside and SUNNY. Only patches of snow are left in the shade. The yearly ritual begins as we find the junk that was buried all winter...oh, there's that bath mat, I was looking for the car-wash bucket, aren't those Mikey's pants? The sun is so fresh and pure it is absolutely warm-wonderful. Like inhaling fresh air after a long illness indoors. 2) I had a few spare minutes this morning and found myself looking at the website of the big Long Beach church I attended years ago. I do this kind of silly thing from time to time. I saw pictures of three men I haven't seen in a decade or more, Rob, Blake, and I do believe Jack on bongos. I am so happy to see them with growing children and families. I knew Blake's wife when she was Estella's roomate; I knew Rob well and longer than that and Jack was a true heart...

The little sailing I've done (and I've loved every little minute of it) has been in the daytime. When fog has suddenly formed, only once a truly thick fog, my skipper broke out the GPS. We didn't look for a lightouse. I have seen, and in part used, flashing light buoys, but never a true lighthouse. Not sailing. And in literature, the lighthouse is a metaphor for so many things it can be trite. Still, it's the image that is coming to mind now. Or that has been on my mind the last three or four days. I wrote here a while ago about considering the diaconate or (even) the priesthood! Being an Episcopalian, I can keep my wife, which is a good thing (actually, I think an already married Catholic might also be able to keep his spouse). Fact is, for a while I felt strongly about the idea, then it went away, lost in a jumble of student papers and novels I'm reading for my Am. Lit. class. Like a lighthouse beam. The rotating kind. When it hits, it completely envelo...

(I sincerely apologize for the lack of hyperlinks: time. Most of these blogs are in my margin). As BK sees this week at CADRE, one never knows who is reading one's blog. It's a good lesson for me to remember as I flail my way along. Civility counts. As does doing one's homework. I will say that I find Layman's tone towards Tabor (and the writing of Chris the Layman is what brought me to the CADRE site) professional and fair; of course, BK's apology is honest and more than sufficient and Tabor himself accepts it. Still, this is one of the things that breaks my heart when I read some Christian bloggage. I think of J.P. Holding at Tekton and his occasional resort to polemic or opponent-caricature, which can weaken an otherwise interesting argument. Even N.T. Wright, who, if anyone in this world should be allowed, deserves the right to mock a weaker opponent in print, goes too far in What St. Paul Really Said when he argues Wilson is riding a broken hobby hors...

It's been a strange week. Since I was snowed part of last week I haven't been to the campus for ten whole days and my spring break isn't over until Monday next. Meaning two weeks at home! S is gone more than usual this semester and I'm trying to pick up my contribution on the housework end. I haven't felt motivated with my job or with, for some sad reason, my church work either. I've felt like vegging. I've been doing some of that, vegging, and I think it's not good for me emotionally. It feels like it will be: oh, just kick back and do nothing today, but it's leading to some anxiety and a bit of depression. Mostly, anxiety. I've been doing more exposure work for my primary obsession (this means focusing on the object of the obsession while breathing and relaxing and, frankly, tolerating). Every time I do this it's powerful. I did this consistently for a few months two years ago and then took a 'break.' I was very impressed...

Okay, so the Star Trek metaphor in the margin is a little odd, but I've moved a couple friends from "The Next Generation" into "The Original Series" and created a new category called "The Academy." Someday, I'll laugh at this. The fact is my blog began as a way for Scott and I to stay in touch and also a way for me to sort out doubts with my faith. Then, quickly, friends were added and it became a support center. Some of those have lost interest in blogging, or, like me, blog less frequently. I still feel like the support structure is here if I need it, and like many of us perhaps, I'm less isolated than I was a year ago. I've always struggled with doubt, and some Christian circles I'd hung in over the years didn't help; I saw party line apologetics and ridiculous arguments for everything from inerrancy to prelapsarianism. Then I stumbled into sites like edgeoffaith and found myself ecountering questions beyond my very limited ...

1) Napster continues to rock. Not the old potentially illegal version, but the new version. I pay ten bucks a month and can listen to almost any music I want as I work. This week I discovered Hank Williams (the first), the new Enya album, some great hymns, more music than I can remember. Right now giving Buckcherry a spin. 2) Yesterday I unloaded and stacked a quarter cord of split hardwood by myself. That's more than it sounds like and my back is a bit sore, but at least I got some exercise as I sit here without rain or snow and wait for the rain and maybe snow that's supposed to come tonight. Where is spring? Melt, snow, melt. My yard is still utterly buried; I can't even see our four foot retaining wall; it's all a slope. 3) As I learn what it really means to be senior warden in a 'shared ministry' parish, the job is getting much harder. I really didn't know what I was doing (and wasn't doing) last year, but while I've just begun my ...

I'm working on a longer post about my EFM (Education for Ministry) group and our discussions regarding the OT; I want to get an early start by outlining some ideas here (remember my other blog title: 'everything's a draft'). The title of this post, Dung Beetle Theology, is taken from a phrase B uses that has been retooled by D and come out of our group discussions. DBT is, in part, a way to look at the OT scripture; it means that we humans, including the writers and editors or the OT, understood the living God about as well as the dung beetle understands us. This does not preclude true religious experience or revelation; my group is working through those ideas on several levels. But it means that the OT as we have it is one people's religious record, really the record of a rather small number of people who acted as authors, editors, and sources, and that the OT is imperfect and deeply human, the reflections of dung beetles on the transcendent Reality. Also, mo...