A Day in the Life
I've been working on another post on the Torah and the Exodus and faith in general. My faith-moods swing so wildly. One week I feel sure (mostly) of my Christianity, another week I feel the opposite. Not necessarily for any significant reason, either. It can be as simple as reading one critic online who fell away from his faith (apart from any rational argument I find convincing). It can be me simply thinking (too much?) about question I don't have answers for. But this is one of those hard days.
***
I had a student go off in my am. lit. class Wed., at least I consider it going off. This guy wears an ascot tie with short sleeves and a sweater vest and brings printed copies of articles from critics he expects me to know. I do not mind if a student brings in outside information; but this is a survey with several dozen authors covered, this is a community college, and dammit I have five freaking classes only one of which is american lit. I'm not an americanist who lives in the library researching the latest jizz. In three years, I'll probably be teaching the british survey.
I don't know that this is the best way to handle these courses, but it's how my dept. handles them. And I work hard to do a good job every semester. This kid was stubborn and argumentative, trying, among other things, to argue that John Marcher in James' "The Beast in the Jungle" might be afraid of syphillis and that's why he can't draw close to May (and those of you who don't remember or haven't read the story will have to trust me; this is a reach). Fine.
But when he starts reading some critic from Northwestern out loud on the ambiguities in James...it's not THAT ambigous; a text can't say anything you want in my opinion regardless of what the reader response people say. Then he got snotty. So I finally said, "Are you trying to be an ass?" Someone else in the class answered, "yes," which was appreciated, but he did calm down after this.
There's something wrong with this guy, and I don't like whatever it is. If he wants to do graduate level work in James he should either be polite in class with his points and then turn in GRADUATE FREAKING LEVEL PAPERS...I will be happy to grade these as graduate papers if he wishes...or he should get accepted at a research university and wait for the day he actually gets to work with a Ph.D. In my dim view, critics, and theory, are overrated and not central to an intro course in literature.
There was more, but I covered enough.
This is under my skin in a big way: criticism, rejection even, the pain that comes from feeling inadequate in the classroom. I'm getting better about being on the spot. When I was driving back from snowboarding I was picking my nose in the car (hey, S and Mikey were asleep) and some board kids drove by with one making really exagerrating picking gestures. I smiled. He did it again because he didn't think I saw him. I still smiled. It was funny, not painful.
But in class, at work, it's different.
I am dressing up more at work, and this seems appropriate for my age.
***
La Paz. My skipper is going to La Paz this summer as I noted a few posts ago. I have to fly. I'm very scared. Especially because the only airline that goes into La Paz proper is Aero California, a Mexican airline. I'm sure their airlines and dated DC 9's are fine, but when I brought up pictures of the interior of the planes in flight (you can do this...it looks just like you're on the plane) to do exposure work from home...wow. My heart is still beating. I know that's how it works: face the fear in manageable increments, but while I have only mild fear of getting hit with a 30 knot chabusco or thunder squall on the sea of cortez (not on a 51 foot Beneteau baby, plus I trust my captain) I have uber fear of getting on the plane to get there. Well, of getting off the ground on the plane.
I need to talk to my skipper and see how he actually plans to get there; he could be flying into Cabo and getting a lift over (one whacky member of the crew, and most of them are characters worthy of fiction, is going to spend a month driving there and back) but however it happens, I really want to get on that plane. I'm afraid of Mexico as well as flying, so this is a good double slammy. For the ship, and the photos of the sea I've found on the web...these are truly exquisite. This is the kind of boat I would need years of experience to skipper in one of the most beautiful bodies of water in the world. I have to go. "It's the chance of a lifetime...he says it's the chance of a lifetime."
***
This about covers it. I read some of my post below, the Estella 4.0, and I was amazed how stark the prose is. Minimal. I write these so quickly, sweet thanks to all who read. What I lack in style I try to make up for in raw gut juice.
Why my faith is under attack I don't know. My brother sent me the email of an NT professor who is willing to recommend reading. How cool is that? When I have time. For now, I'm reading Asimov's Foundation for my genius sci. fi. class (and oh they are all one would expect: one girl says her father took all his college notes in Tolkien's dwarf runes; another guy couldn't stop talking about Game of Thrones; these kids live these books like personal religions and I love it). Also reading Dune for the same class and Turn of the Screw for am. lit. I've read all these before, but reading a book and managing a discussion over 80 or even 150 minutes are two different things.
Here's to success in class, faith in Christ, and flying with mexicans.
Love and peace to all who watch and wait with me here.
***
I had a student go off in my am. lit. class Wed., at least I consider it going off. This guy wears an ascot tie with short sleeves and a sweater vest and brings printed copies of articles from critics he expects me to know. I do not mind if a student brings in outside information; but this is a survey with several dozen authors covered, this is a community college, and dammit I have five freaking classes only one of which is american lit. I'm not an americanist who lives in the library researching the latest jizz. In three years, I'll probably be teaching the british survey.
I don't know that this is the best way to handle these courses, but it's how my dept. handles them. And I work hard to do a good job every semester. This kid was stubborn and argumentative, trying, among other things, to argue that John Marcher in James' "The Beast in the Jungle" might be afraid of syphillis and that's why he can't draw close to May (and those of you who don't remember or haven't read the story will have to trust me; this is a reach). Fine.
But when he starts reading some critic from Northwestern out loud on the ambiguities in James...it's not THAT ambigous; a text can't say anything you want in my opinion regardless of what the reader response people say. Then he got snotty. So I finally said, "Are you trying to be an ass?" Someone else in the class answered, "yes," which was appreciated, but he did calm down after this.
There's something wrong with this guy, and I don't like whatever it is. If he wants to do graduate level work in James he should either be polite in class with his points and then turn in GRADUATE FREAKING LEVEL PAPERS...I will be happy to grade these as graduate papers if he wishes...or he should get accepted at a research university and wait for the day he actually gets to work with a Ph.D. In my dim view, critics, and theory, are overrated and not central to an intro course in literature.
There was more, but I covered enough.
This is under my skin in a big way: criticism, rejection even, the pain that comes from feeling inadequate in the classroom. I'm getting better about being on the spot. When I was driving back from snowboarding I was picking my nose in the car (hey, S and Mikey were asleep) and some board kids drove by with one making really exagerrating picking gestures. I smiled. He did it again because he didn't think I saw him. I still smiled. It was funny, not painful.
But in class, at work, it's different.
I am dressing up more at work, and this seems appropriate for my age.
***
La Paz. My skipper is going to La Paz this summer as I noted a few posts ago. I have to fly. I'm very scared. Especially because the only airline that goes into La Paz proper is Aero California, a Mexican airline. I'm sure their airlines and dated DC 9's are fine, but when I brought up pictures of the interior of the planes in flight (you can do this...it looks just like you're on the plane) to do exposure work from home...wow. My heart is still beating. I know that's how it works: face the fear in manageable increments, but while I have only mild fear of getting hit with a 30 knot chabusco or thunder squall on the sea of cortez (not on a 51 foot Beneteau baby, plus I trust my captain) I have uber fear of getting on the plane to get there. Well, of getting off the ground on the plane.
I need to talk to my skipper and see how he actually plans to get there; he could be flying into Cabo and getting a lift over (one whacky member of the crew, and most of them are characters worthy of fiction, is going to spend a month driving there and back) but however it happens, I really want to get on that plane. I'm afraid of Mexico as well as flying, so this is a good double slammy. For the ship, and the photos of the sea I've found on the web...these are truly exquisite. This is the kind of boat I would need years of experience to skipper in one of the most beautiful bodies of water in the world. I have to go. "It's the chance of a lifetime...he says it's the chance of a lifetime."
***
This about covers it. I read some of my post below, the Estella 4.0, and I was amazed how stark the prose is. Minimal. I write these so quickly, sweet thanks to all who read. What I lack in style I try to make up for in raw gut juice.
Why my faith is under attack I don't know. My brother sent me the email of an NT professor who is willing to recommend reading. How cool is that? When I have time. For now, I'm reading Asimov's Foundation for my genius sci. fi. class (and oh they are all one would expect: one girl says her father took all his college notes in Tolkien's dwarf runes; another guy couldn't stop talking about Game of Thrones; these kids live these books like personal religions and I love it). Also reading Dune for the same class and Turn of the Screw for am. lit. I've read all these before, but reading a book and managing a discussion over 80 or even 150 minutes are two different things.
Here's to success in class, faith in Christ, and flying with mexicans.
Love and peace to all who watch and wait with me here.
Comments
an ascot tie, short sleeves and a sweater vest is that not enough of a warning? That, my friend, is the picture of a troubled youth.
About faith, something I have been praying recently(when I remember) is that I would love Jesus like the Father does and that I would hear the voice of the Holy Spirit and obey his "nudgings" quickly.
It has made a difference.
Prayers for processing the stuff of faith and life. Peace.