Light in August
Right now I have no time for a long post, but I'm reading Faulkner's Light in August and I'm absolutely hypnotized. I never read him, except for "A Rose for Emily," which shows up in every anthology; in grad school, even though I chanted Dylan Thomas in the shower, I wouldn't read Faulkner because of the modernism, the obscurity, in works like The Sound and the Fury or As I Lay Dying. My best friend in school was a huge fan, but he never got me to try WF.
Light in August, granted, isn't that experimental; it provides quickly understandable point of view. Still, it is one of the most remarkable American novels, and, as Robert Penn Warren also is, deeply male (not that women can't enjoy this book). In fact, the opening passages, a pregnant teenage girl who sets out on foot to find the lover who abandoned her, certainly a feminine theme. While the woman's point of view is represented (say with Mrs. Armistid also) there is some unspeakable manful thing about the prose I can't label. Southern, male, tautly psycholgoical...ooh, I'm only half way through but had to take the weekend off. Hope to finish it this week.
***
Things are even harder at my parish. Our choir director, my best friend at the church, has resigned, mostly because of the outspoken pressure of a view individuals who do not represent the congregation as a whole. At leat, this is my view. His loss is sad for us; first a deacon gone, then our choir. In ten months I'll be off vestry and perhaps that will make things easier for me; doubt it.
It's all a very sober dose of another side to church reality (or any organizational reality, truly): politics, personalities, petty bullshit. I think rectors work as hard as deans for half the money (or less). This is another one of those times I can't see the lighthouse light; is it out or sweeping or dark? I don't know. I woke up sick this morning, in part I think because I was so upset over what is going on, even though my college experience has given me a thicker skin than most.
To make things even more interesting, both our (ex) choir director and one of his most vivid opponents are in my small group. I got to serve dinner and wine to both of them in my home the day after I found out. Fun. Good times.
And another thing that's disappointing me: the first small group meeting was a success. Several people came from our early service I'd never met. I like everyone (generally speaking, this is true). And yet when I asked them what they want to do, it's not pray and have a group prayer journal (what I was hoping for); it's not do a gospel study. It's party. They want to get together once a month and eat and drink and socialize, and as older people need to do, tell their stories.
Fair enough. I felt again that one strong voice led this trend, but I did speak up (my voice isn't exactly squeaky) and it seemed the idea had carried. We'll just socialize.
This is a great accomplishment for the parish, truly, to get people together who live so far apart and build relationships. It is an end in itself. Since the parish offers other activities, EFM for one, also Daughters, which is a prayer group, maybe this is what the people most need. Episcopalians, especially older ones, will tell you what they feel and want. And I appreciate the bottom up structure of our group, as opposed to a top down project: we're doing a book study on Acts like it or not....
Still, I'm a bit sad. I know these are Christian people; I don't feel like I'm with a group that avoids issues of faith as individuals. I surely didn't want a chance to teach them anything. I wasn't thinking that. But when we met before, with a smaller group, we were reading John and praying for each other and I liked it. I guess I do have EFM; we study and pray there. It's just a fact that right now, this particular want to talk and party. I suppose I should celebrate this. In time I know I will. Relationships are vital, vital, for parish. The next step is to do something with the handful of couples who have kids that are still in school. Steph has a great idea how to get us together.
Peace to all. I share here because I need to, not for gossip's sake. It's tough leading in a church, any church, but certainly one where I still feel unsure about my own position, one with a long history of which I am a recent part.
Light in August, granted, isn't that experimental; it provides quickly understandable point of view. Still, it is one of the most remarkable American novels, and, as Robert Penn Warren also is, deeply male (not that women can't enjoy this book). In fact, the opening passages, a pregnant teenage girl who sets out on foot to find the lover who abandoned her, certainly a feminine theme. While the woman's point of view is represented (say with Mrs. Armistid also) there is some unspeakable manful thing about the prose I can't label. Southern, male, tautly psycholgoical...ooh, I'm only half way through but had to take the weekend off. Hope to finish it this week.
***
Things are even harder at my parish. Our choir director, my best friend at the church, has resigned, mostly because of the outspoken pressure of a view individuals who do not represent the congregation as a whole. At leat, this is my view. His loss is sad for us; first a deacon gone, then our choir. In ten months I'll be off vestry and perhaps that will make things easier for me; doubt it.
It's all a very sober dose of another side to church reality (or any organizational reality, truly): politics, personalities, petty bullshit. I think rectors work as hard as deans for half the money (or less). This is another one of those times I can't see the lighthouse light; is it out or sweeping or dark? I don't know. I woke up sick this morning, in part I think because I was so upset over what is going on, even though my college experience has given me a thicker skin than most.
To make things even more interesting, both our (ex) choir director and one of his most vivid opponents are in my small group. I got to serve dinner and wine to both of them in my home the day after I found out. Fun. Good times.
And another thing that's disappointing me: the first small group meeting was a success. Several people came from our early service I'd never met. I like everyone (generally speaking, this is true). And yet when I asked them what they want to do, it's not pray and have a group prayer journal (what I was hoping for); it's not do a gospel study. It's party. They want to get together once a month and eat and drink and socialize, and as older people need to do, tell their stories.
Fair enough. I felt again that one strong voice led this trend, but I did speak up (my voice isn't exactly squeaky) and it seemed the idea had carried. We'll just socialize.
This is a great accomplishment for the parish, truly, to get people together who live so far apart and build relationships. It is an end in itself. Since the parish offers other activities, EFM for one, also Daughters, which is a prayer group, maybe this is what the people most need. Episcopalians, especially older ones, will tell you what they feel and want. And I appreciate the bottom up structure of our group, as opposed to a top down project: we're doing a book study on Acts like it or not....
Still, I'm a bit sad. I know these are Christian people; I don't feel like I'm with a group that avoids issues of faith as individuals. I surely didn't want a chance to teach them anything. I wasn't thinking that. But when we met before, with a smaller group, we were reading John and praying for each other and I liked it. I guess I do have EFM; we study and pray there. It's just a fact that right now, this particular want to talk and party. I suppose I should celebrate this. In time I know I will. Relationships are vital, vital, for parish. The next step is to do something with the handful of couples who have kids that are still in school. Steph has a great idea how to get us together.
Peace to all. I share here because I need to, not for gossip's sake. It's tough leading in a church, any church, but certainly one where I still feel unsure about my own position, one with a long history of which I am a recent part.
Comments
I'm afraid that most people simply don't take their faith too seriously.
As for the bit with the music director, I don't know what to say. I've been on staff at two different churches, and I've been a member of a few more, and everywhere I've been I've seen that sort of situation play out.
sincere thanks for your post here.
I know every organization, certainly every college I've worked, has politics. There's something more painful, though, about this in the church environment.
It's hard for me not to blame our rector for not being a stronger personality, but I don't know what if anything different he could have done. I do feel a need to talk with him about this though; as warden, it's also part of my job.
Thanks, once again, for your support S.
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This is way off topic here, but you are around teens/young adults quite a bit, so you see what kind of t-shirts are cool. I'm designing a tee for Young Life and am having trouble deciding which option deserves to go to print. If you get a chance, could you come over to my blog, check out the designs, and give a little feedback?
Thanks.