Doug the Tree

Oh guys, what a crappy afternoon. The Green Bay Packers, the only team in any sport I half follow, got killed in record kill-style. Brett Favre left the game. And the Christmas tree Mikey and I bought didn't work out. How can this be?

There are a dozen live tree lots where I live, at least. I like to cut the tree live because it lasts so long; green well to epiphany. Mike and I went out two days ago, had fun trapsing around a very small lot near our house. We beat the crowds (and you should see the lines of traffic heading back to Sacramento, trees atop) but had a hard time finding a tree. We ended up cutting the top half off a tree, unsure how big it really was.

When we brought it in today (at halftime, no less) it was huge. I mean huge. We have a peaked wood ceiling, and there was no way it would fit. So I started cutting. Off the bottom. Off the top. Ohmygod I'm starting to laugh now. Because by the the time we were done, what tree was left, the middle of the top we had brought home, looked ridiculous. I'm laughing more. So now there is greenery all over my living room (I believe there is some liturgical significance to this) as well as chunks of stump from the bottom of the tree and a very nice top piece about a foot tall which might make a pretty charley brown tree.

Oh jeez. So now we have to clean it up. Well, I imagine I feel better than Brett Favre right now.

But not much! I've never had this happen with a tree. I don't want to get down on myself, but I've been struggling with those feelings so much lately. I mean this is only 25 dollars. I saved that much by cooking beef stew all day (which, actually, smells like it will be killer, all beef, vegetables, red wine, heat and time). I have yet to tell my wife who is at work; I think, though, that what's left is too silly to keep. Stubby, very wide, but with huge holes. Mikey said, 'I'm not letting any of my friends come over if we have this tree.' He of course, is fine, playing video games while I get up the emotional gumption to haul the scraps and carcass out to our burn pile, to be burned when it dries.

There is something tragic about that.

Oh well. Last night S and I went to her work Christmas party, and she truly did look dazzling. We invited friends over tonight and I haven't heard back. Hopefully, this means they're not coming, because I could never get the place ready now.

I was reading (another) hack article online about Christmas, one which gives as much credibility to the Jesus Seminar and Da Vinci Code as Matthew (how can one assume Mary was not a source for any of the gospel material? She was present at the crucifixion and pentecost; she was taken in by John) and there was a great quote from John Paul II. He said that faith and hope are "like two wings on which the human spirit rises to the contemplation of truth" and that both are required in our search. Very nice.

Okay, I don't have any time right now, but I just had to talk about the tree.

Oh, Mikey named it Doug as we were working on it. As in Doug Fir. Yeah, cute. Count my blessings. My son is the coolest kid on the West Slope and everybody knows it. Thanks be to God.

And thanks for those of you who I know pray for me. How moving that is. Some of you I've met once or twice, maybe some not at all. But I am deeply grateful, truly moved.

I'll be in touch.



Comments

Anonymous said…
Ohhh, this post was so great. Not that I find humor in someone else's pain, but the story of Doug just made me smile. (In a sad, "I'm so sorry" kind of way.) I am glad that you have Mikey to share this experience with... These are the moments that will be your fondest memories in the future -- and one's that he will tell too, about how cool you, as his dad, are. Seasons blessings.
KMJ said…
That was me above... must have clicked on the "anonymous" button. :)
We also have a Doug Fir thing going on at our house--only totally different. It seems my parents (in Portland)went to a white elephant gift exchange while we were staying at their house last week and came home with a two-foot tall, battery-operated, singing and dancing Christmas tree. Turn on the switch and his branches magically transform into the features of a face. His opening line is "Hi, I'm Doug Fir!" and then the hideous creature proceeds to sing Christmas carols. He's on a "clapper" style mechanism, so any sudden loud noise sets him off. My dear, dear parents showed it to my four-year old; she fell in love with it as any self-respecting four-year old would, and they promised her she could take it home TO MONTANA with her. Thanks a lot.

Oh, and Go Packers. We share a passion for them, apparently. They are the only team in the NFL that I care about. Brett Favre rocks.
Tenax said…
Sherry,

yes, yes, go Packers. Glad to find another fan.

t

Popular posts from this blog

First Step and the Consiliari

Hey Gang

Wanting to Come Back....